Is Alcide the answer? uh, no…

Well we’ve paid a lot of attention to Eric and Bill, the vampire suitors, here at talktrueblood.com….

But what about Alcide? He’s confirmed to be coming back for Episode 4×03 (see below) and Alan Ball certainly seems to be cramming him down our throats as Sookie’s third suitor (like it or not and I am going with not).

I guess….Alcide won’t be sucking her blood at least (*sarcastic cheers and high-pitched whistles as the balloons fall*). Claudine will approve I guess…but wait, she almost trapped Sookie in maggot fairyland where it’s probable she’d be eating this until she dropped dead at some unknown time:

YUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMY!

Anyway, let’s get back to Alcide.  What exactly is this guy offering her that Eric can’t give her other than romps in the sun?

Outside sex is a bit overrated if you ask me and although Sookie lives without an ever-present neighbor, I don’t think Sookie would like to lend an audience to the many day walkers of Bon Temps that seem to routinely stop by and she can lay out with Tara anyway.

So if you put the daytime romps aside, what exactly are you offering Sookie as a day walker if you WON’T HAVE BABIES (as we found out from Debbie in Episode 3×07???

Also, I mean he’s only there for monetary reasons related to Eric…So your broke too and you remind Sookie every chance you get?…. You pretty much know how to kill a lady-boner don’t you Alcide?

Sookie is also in need of protection, like it or not, and all we ever see is Alcide getting his butt kicked like  some overt nerd on the school yard…

So much so that he amounts to nothing more than a pretty boy with bad case of body hair :

Even Russell is dumb-founded by the pathetic nature of your game and he’s gay:

I mean, I know Alcide is hot and all, but doesn’t his presence on the screen kinda remind you of that hot friend you had in high school that was always without a girlfriend because there was just something there that always relegated him to the “friend zone”?

Not to mention that he still loves a woman (the lovely Miss Pelt) that wants to “rip her head off.”

Finally, it’s been a long time since I have seen a quality show on a premium channel with top-notch actors contain an on-screen romantic pairing with such a minuscule amount of chemistry. If you have me wishing Bill was back on the screen, we have a definite problem here MR. ALAN BALL!

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  1. #1 by Cindy on June 28, 2011 - 1:38 am

    I have to vote no. EXACTLY RIGHT Kat. Alcide IS being force fed to us. Kind of like Bill is, but that’s a different discussion for another day. 🙂 Alcide has waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much baggage, not to mention he’s a frightful bore. I can’t believe for one second that Sookie would be happy with him. Nice to look at don’t mean he’s good for you. (FYI didn’t like him in the books either…at ALL!)

    • #2 by Kat on June 28, 2011 - 1:56 am

      HAHA I thought you might Cindy!

      Yes they are both being force fed because Alan Ball has said himself that he thinks all girls want to be chased by multiple men and he finds them fascinating for some unknown reason.

      Yeah, cant think of a worst combo: baggage plus frightful bore….
      She’d get bored like the next day after they hooked up

      Im not a book fan but at least when I read the books I can imagine him being interesting.

  2. #3 by b_azinga on June 28, 2011 - 3:12 am

    I think he only didn’t want to have kids with Debbie bc they would turn out werewolves, since they both are. But whatev, i definitely agree. Alcide is totally this hot but just not attractive guy who always hangs around with girls. Spot on, girl! 😉

    • #4 by Kat on June 28, 2011 - 1:10 pm

      Well I am pretty sure that there is a chance that Sookie and Alcide would have werewolves anyway. It seems on True Blood there is a chance if only one parent is a supe that the child will be a supe (for example: Sookie, Tommy, Sam?,), unless there is a special werewolf exception and I presume that Crystal was also thinking Jason might also help her have a werepanther if she’s willing to breed with him too.

  3. #5 by TruFan on June 28, 2011 - 6:28 am

    Alcide has never struck me as a romantic interest. The only time that vibe even comes through is on the promos! In the show Alcide is still obsessed with his insane girlfriend, not particularly good at protecting Sookie, and works for Eric. (We know who the real alpha is there, don’t we?)
    Considering his taste in women, it wouldn’t even be flattering if this guy like you. Also, every nice thing he’s done for Sookie…he’s been paid for… by Eric. Just keep that in mind.
    I’m sure HE has an interest. I don’t think Sookie will. Maybe they’ll try to convince us there’s some sort of physical attractiveness, but all I’ve ever felt from the show is awkwardness between these two.

    (fangtasia)

    • #6 by Kat on June 28, 2011 - 1:01 pm

      Exactly and also the only slight moment was the almost kiss on the porch but even that was a little forced.

      Yes, everything Alcide did was because of Eric and he wasn’t even really good at that haha.

      Yeah I thought about including Alcide’s taste in women LOL………………It’s just a total friend vibe, no more-no less

  4. #7 by Patrick on June 28, 2011 - 11:05 am

    LOL I can barely formulate a response I’m laughing too hard here….

    Yeah Alcide is hot in the kind of rustic/redneck/good ole boy manner that is common in that part of the country (Louisiana/Arkansas/Tennessee/Mississippi etc), but there’s something weird about him. He’s seems rather meek (or weak), and he’s just pretty much boring. Birds dig guys who can stand up for themselves, who have some uniqueness, and, more importantly, guys who don’t just seem to blend into the background because they are so dull.

    He gets relegated to the friend zone because that’s exactly what he is, the consummate friend. Despite being hot, he’s the only person I’ve ever seen that can be attractive yet have absolutely zero sex appeal.

    But, yeah, your comment at the end was correct. If it has YOU, of all people, wanting Bill back, then Alcide must be a real bellend.

    As always, great article, keep ’em coming.

    • #8 by Kat on June 28, 2011 - 1:07 pm

      well it was meant to be funny lol

      He’s just the dull, safe friend (hotness doesn’t matter in this case).

      Exactly.

    • #9 by IATM on June 28, 2011 - 2:34 pm

      i agree, i think TB Alcide will remain just a sexy friend of Sookie’s.. i really think AB will use the “shifter” angle on Sookie’s were animal lover in the story.. this brings Quinn to the mix.. & if Sam ends up being Quinn & Sookie finds out then Eric can say his famous line ” Sorry about the Tiger” ( FDTW).. Tara & Sam & Laffy were put togather in the s4 poster’s for a reason.. Tara i think will foreshadow something related to Sam for s5.. & Tara is with a new “made up persona”.. Sam is already use to making up new persona’s since he is a shifter anyway.. the Collie/ The fly in s2/ the owl/ the horse in s4 & the pit bull in s3.. so why not a Large Tiger in s5??

      • #10 by Kat on June 28, 2011 - 2:44 pm

        I think he’ll be relegated to a status similar to Sam.

        I think AB will always have a non-vampire suitor in the background just to get Eric and Bill fans worried that she’ll go non-vamp one day because of her blood.

        Yes, I think Sam and Tara will end up back together. I like them as a couple. I ship them actually. I think they will connect on that unfortunate level.

        I could definitely see that. I would definitely love to have Sam replace Quinn’s role! PLEASE! lol I hated Quinn in the books.

    • #11 by Anette on June 28, 2011 - 5:59 pm

      Alcide is so wooden and I don’t mean like boner but just a piece of wood, no sex, no chemistry, like big puppy with muscle, and he is dull, I agree with you, also – he has terrible taste in chosing women, her ex is an great example on that 😉 Can you think about Alcide and Debbie together? I can’t, really, that girl is a fire starter, tsunami and hirricane all in one, an there we see Alcide, oh, here he comes……………………..almost there…………………..oh camone bro, you can make it!

  5. #12 by IATM on June 28, 2011 - 2:15 pm

    i’m going to take a wild guess here that Tara’s character in s4 with the **new** persona “Toni” the cage fighter is foreshadowing Quinn the Grrrrrrrreat Tiger in s5.. but i think Quinn’s persona will be Sam on the Down Low.. Sam might pick up another job doing what book Quinn did for living & he meets Sookie while doing something with the Wolf “Alcide” .. & he can easily shift into a Large animal we see since he shifted into the horse in s4 with his shifter friends..

  6. #13 by TruFan on June 28, 2011 - 3:33 pm

    I would love to see Sam and Tara get together. I think Sam would be really good for her if she could manage to overcome her prejudices, and also open up a bit. It seems likes she’s in a sort of a good place now with her new love, which might be a stepping stone to future happy relationships. (I believe we learn something in every relationship we’re in that we carry to the next…good or bad). In the end though I think her current relationship will not last because it seems to be based completely on lies. I don’t think that other woman is going to stay with her when she finds out Tara lied about everything, even her own name!

    I also think Tara would be good for Sam if she overcomes the issues I mentioned, because deep down Tara is a really strong person and I think Sam needs that in a lady. The sexual chemistry is clearly there, even taking into consideration her current relationship. Not that sex is everything, but it doesn’t hurt! 😀

    • #14 by Kat on June 28, 2011 - 4:23 pm

      I think she will somehow…AB is very good at playin that idea and I can see her evolving as a character. I agree with that. I think that Tara’s breakup with that girl will parallel Bill lying to Sookie of course.

      Well I mean you know I ship Tara and Sam now so obviously I am biased ha.
      I am actually a huge Tara fan and I hate all the Tara hate. She’s been through a lot and she’s coming out stronger for it. That’s beautiful and admirable.
      They can make eachother strong and maintain that strength together. There is so much they could give eachother….

      I mean…I would definitely think the sex that Sookie and Eric are going to have is a plus so I will give that to Tara and Sam LOL

  7. #15 by Anette on June 28, 2011 - 4:42 pm

    Dear Sookie, well, out door sex is definitely over ratted. Especially daily, cause mosquitoes will get you sooner or latter (so, you will be blood drain any way and I think I would prefer to gave my sweet blood to Eric and not some mosquitoes bastards;)). Maybe by night, when there is less insects, but wait if by night Eric is available, so why the hell you think about Alcide if you could have great out door sex with you gracious plenty equipped precious viking? You know that actually you have dirty minds about him, I notice you were saying: It’s another dream? Yes honey, it was just man of your dreams standing before you. And why the hell you don’t give him a hug he deserves? He loves you, he bought your house from your brother who sell it few months after you were disappeared (oh Jason, you’re twat), he never gave up on you, when everybody does, when your brother did and Bill “you’re mine” Compton…
    And let me say, if you not listen Eric, if you not listen your subconscious, heart and even mind, please, listen to Pam, that girl is just pure gold common sense, she is more friend od you than Tara, Arlene and all fairies in one bucket, so give up on try to loose Eric from your life, he is most stable, most precious, most emotionally connected with you part of it.

    • #16 by Kat on June 28, 2011 - 5:00 pm

      Lmao. nice mosquito joke.
      night-time outdoor sex with Eric is far sexier.lol.

      I think she should have been thanking him too, not asking Bill to help her get it back. I like her season one independent mind though.

      I think she should have listened to Pam too. Pam always has the straight facts and the common sense.

      • #17 by Anette on June 28, 2011 - 5:49 pm

        well, night time outdoor sex with Eric is always a good idea, just like in Dead Reconing, so no more doubts.

        And I love Pam, her line are amazing: like what she said about people’s constitutional roghts to be an idiots 😉 or her line to Sookie about book clubs and sisterhood – prizeless.

        And Bill, well he is an politcian, and like Eric said: who you will sooner trust: vampire or politician? This scene when in the same time Eric and Bill were giving a speach – great job, who you chose and who has got your vote?

    • #18 by Patrick on June 28, 2011 - 7:53 pm

      I thought Bill did better re: the speeches, he came across as the more polished politician. Eric seemed like a used car salesman to me, but that’s just my own opinion

      • #19 by Kat on June 28, 2011 - 8:05 pm

        Yeahsss, Dead Reckoning sex scene was nice lol

        @18- you do realize that entire sequence was making fun of Bill as the untrustworthy politician.

  1. Sookie-Eric-Bill 3some? Sookie-Eric-Bill-Alcide 4some? uh-no « Talktrueblood's Blog

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